love.

I just tweeted this:

discussing with Rach the idea that a more correct (selfless) love would have included bold honesty, and the consequences of selfishness. Hm.

here's the deal. you should have told me the truth. i know i was naive, and i know that i was enjoying the attention. but now i miss our friendship. because our friendship according to me was something that was apparently not a friendship to you. 

but since that has changed, everything else will follow. 

i know it was "in like", not "in love", but if you loved me the way you told me you did, as a sister... then the more correct love should still have been shown through you. it's unfair to tell me that we're just friends, yet treat me the same way you're now treating your new "love interest". i understand so much more now. 

i'm sorry i was selfish. i liked the attention and time you gave me.

that part was my fault.

this sounds way dramatic. it's probably overboard. 

but i miss you. and it's spilling out into a blog post that i'm writing while i'm tired and dealing with weird girly emotions. 

don't worry about it. 

i love

spring.
college.
chips n' dip.
learning about God.
my roommate.
grass.
having bare dirty feet.
having hair that smells like trees.
getting my hair cut.
sleep.
taco bell.
my roommate's boy.
cathy being near me again.
getting dirty taking pictures.
having my window open and my fan on.
boatman 2nd.
chocolate chip cookies.
running.
dresses.
deodorant.
blankets.
indiana jones.
ipods.
sean mcconnell.
jeremy cowart.
painting.
lotion.
singing really loud... but still sounding good.
frontline.
morgan and whitney.
smiles.
brushing my teeth.
anjel ciaravino.
the office.
tom hanks.
good mattresses.
apple juice.
altoids.
real sweet tea.
video games.
bass guitar.
scarves.
chicago.
shoes.
people.
stripes.
hanging things up in my closet.
black and white.
old people.
funny people.
batman.
phineas and ferb.
bruce willis.
pranks.
melinda perry.
refrigerators.
cold drinks.
coffee.
water.
owls.
our guard dog, chief.
my orange stapler.
writing letters.
receiving letters.
listening to smart people talk.
playing the piano.
learning new songs.
hillsong united.
jack johnson.
chocolate chip pancakes.
climbing trees.

i love.

people

i love so many people. i basically love everyone in the world. not even kidding, God has given me this cool thing that allows me to see people as something worthy to love and take care of... so i love them. they're valuable for sure.

but some things drive me crazy.

like the freshman couple who hang out in my dorm's lobby all the time... giggling about who knows what, kissing all over each other, and having incredibly uncomfortable to over-hear conversations like how obsessed he is that her feet stay soft. (what?!?!)

like the way almost every time you walk into a girl's dorm room, they're talking about boys, in some shape or form. i'm not gonna lie, me and rach do it, too... so i can't judge you too much. but i don't really care how cute the new guy on campus is... or what colors your wedding will be, someday, after you get a boyfriend and he proposes. or how your boyfriend forgot to get you anything for your four month anniversary. (why do people count those anyways?! celebrate longevity and true sacrificial love... not a four month relationship that may not make it to the fifth.)

like the way every time you walk into my room to waste time while your mac n' cheese is warming up across the hall, and spend the whole three and a half minutes talking about how so many boys think you like them, but you weren't even flirting or anything!!! and all these people keep teasing you about all these different boys... but you can't help it, you just hang out with a lot of boys, you guess.

some things i actually like to observe because of how much they amuse me.

like the conversation i overheard while waiting for krystin to finish checking out at walmart... "i'm never coming to walmart again!!" ha! yeah good luck with that, living in jomo, where walmart is the only place bigger than a gas station to buy groceries. also, walmart was busy today... learn to deal. the managers there do not revolve all of their job around making your visit to walmart as easy as they possibly can. you aren't their only customer. haha.

like the time when *the unnamed one whom i love* came and sat with the guys/rosie table for dinner the other day... right next to the guy with the funniest/gayest/rudest mouth ever. it was brilliant!!! i love this girl so, so much... but watching her interact with trevor and patrick might have been the funniest thing i've seen in a really long time!! ha.

like the way my roommate wanted to boil water with her teapot and then pour it into old water bottles... when there's a water fountain down the hall. she's so cute... i kind of like her a lot.

anyways. that's all. for now.