Today, I did something I never do. I prayed on my knees alone in my room. And it was awesome. It was literally for less than two minutes... but it was the most restful and encouraging and wonderful two minutes I've had in a long time. It was like an automatic open door into the presence of God. Kneeling is just a wonderfully holy thing.
I prayed about this thing Dillon and I talked about. We were actually discussing each others faults (as weird as that sounds), and he told me that I pay way too much attention to what people think of me. Which is absolutely true. I realized this on the phone with Sunshine last night, when I started freaking out because he made a comment about a part of my personality, and I ended up thinking about it throughout the entire conversation, wondering how often people are completely annoyed and turned off by me. Which is stupid.
So I asked God to help me only want to be like him, and only want to please him. Which is awfully hard for me to do. I clearly need his help rather badly.
I realized that not only do I need to recognize this fault, but work on it. I'm pretty lazy when it comes to improving myself. Then I realized I wasn't sure where to start. So I prayed on my knees. And I felt comforted, and energized.
Like I said... God is incredible. I really like him.
p.s. - I've been having trouble sleeping the past three days. Not sure why. I've been told to try lavender by a friends mother. Hmm.
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