today, i dealt with a lot of heart issues. pride, self pity, low self-esteem, etc. a lot of selfishness going on in my life.
and by "dealt", i don't mean that they're gone... just that i realized once again how horribly they control my life, and started working on changes.
i've found that many times when i need to change on the inside, i need to first change on the outside, and start praying like crazy. God likes to work on hearts when you ask him desperately, i think.
the first half of my day was about outward changes. i changed my attitude and pretended that i hadn't even thought of myself all day, and joked and laughed with my best friends, having fun with them and finding out about their lives. i didn't want to... but i did.
the second half of my day was not about heart issues. it was about life being just plain dumb.
i found out around dinner time that due to weekly charges and fees of which the bank had not taken the time to inform me, my account was overdrawn to a horrifying amount.
i just cost my parents over $1160.
while i had been happily swiping my card to watch a redbox movie, assuming that no one was taking money from my account except for myself, i was actually digging myself into a ridiculous debt hole.
i sat in the bank parking lot and cried after getting off the phone with my gracious and loving daddy. he said that i don't have to pay him and mom back. just because he loves me and trusts in how well i've done with money before this whole issue began in the spring.
my appetite has come back, and i'm craving a cheeseburger.
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