i can't sleep.

it's been almost two hours since i curled up into my blanket and sank into my pillow. i missed my pillow.. i accidentally left it at bayes' house five weeks ago.

rachel and i were talking tonight, and she told me that her boyfriend caleb thinks i haven't been around very much the past few days. i wanted to get angry and hurt, and point out to her how many times she's been out with just him in the past three days. i miss my roommate, and he's been taking her away from me.
but of course, my reaction was to apologize and tell her how much i miss her, sit on her bed and have deeper conversation while giving her my undivided attention.
i think that's the Christlike thing to do. but i hated it. goodness, i'm a selfish girl.

we prayed together like we had every night all summer. that was good. afterwards, i turned on a movie and she called caleb.
but then the movie was over, and they were talking about their relationship, and their favorite parts of their day, and how they're doing getting back into the groove of being at school with all of their friends... and i wanted to sleep.
i was really frustrated. all i want to do is get some sleep.. i have to work in the bookstore tomorrow at 9 AM, i've been busy going to all the freshman orientation sessions and answering questions and being welcoming and practicing with the band. and my roommate is talking on the phone with her boyfriend in the wee hours of the mornin'...
and gosh i'm selfish. and... jealous?

i still can't sleep. blah.

p.s. this is my favorite book. i wish i was a giving tree.

back at school.

why do people type with symbols and numbers in place of words? i don't understand.

i meet the girls in my small group tomorrow. we'll meet weekly for the rest of the year.

i hope they like me.

schmome.

being guilted into doing a photoshoot may be the worst cruel and unusual thing i have ever suffered. especially in over 100 degree weather. however...

i got some good shots out of it. i was forced to do well in an environment that i hated. it got me the practice i've been desperately needing all summer.

i have several engagement shoots coming up once i get to school in a few days, and i hadn't done a legit photoshoot in quite a while. i was pretty rusty.

but i shot johnnie and sydney yesterday, my cousins family this morning, and my sister's senior portraits this afternoon.

i think i'm getting practice in. (:

summer. (or lack thereof)

i got back to my house yesterday afternoon.

i'm leaving tuesday.

i didn't get a summer.

i'm so tired. my body's all out of wack. i wasn't hungry all day until dinner, when i started feeling almost faint because i hadn't eaten. i want to sleep all day... but i have spurts of an hour or two towards evening time when i'm pretty sure i could go another three days without sleeping. my tummy hurts. i'm kind of out of it.

i think this has been the hardest part of the summer. getting back and wish i could be here longer. beginning to feel stress about my responsibilities at school this year. blah.

i'm terrified to be a life group leader. just fyi.